4 year Update

I just re-read this blog to remind myself of the whole process I went through before and after weight loss surgery. Interesting to recall how fixated I was on the scale and how fun it was to see that number drop. I find myself grateful that the scale no longer rules my life. How I feel, how strong I am and how my clothes fit are my guides these days and I am finally comfortable at my weight. I hit 169 for a minute but my body is happiest between 172-180 pounds and I find I can maintain that weight without totally killing myself. Eating Paleo has helped me stay healthy, lean out and given me a great framework to keep my eating on track. My dieticians and surgeon all pushed protein first, then veg/fruit and then everything else. Paleo fits well with that. I am so grateful I had this surgery. It gave me a whole new start to life and I feel like I'm living life to it's fullest for the first time. So glad I did it but wish I had done it years ago, I get sad if I think about everything I missed out on because of my weight. But not dwelling on that, just going to keep working hard at the gym, eating clean and enjoying being able to move, lift heavy things and challenge my body to bigger and better things every day.

New post

Check out my other blog www.lifeofcranny.blogspot.com for an updated post!

Update - long overdue

I should have updated by now, but I have not taken the time. It's been over a year now since my surgery and what a year it has been! I have spent the summer working on getting in shape - doing Jillian Michael's dvds and running longer and more often, plus cutting out more carbs and focusing on getting in more variety of protein and more consistent eating schedules.  It's been a big process this whole year of finding what works and what does not and filing away keys in my mind that keep me on track. I watched an episode of "Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition" where the contestant worked out 6-8 hours a day.  It clicked with me during that 2 hours watching that show: I can work out a LOT more and not hurt myself.  I was working out every other day.  I immediately switched to making it my goal to work out every single day and it has immensely changed both my body and my mindset. I went from running 3 miles each time I ran to 3.5, then 4, then 5 and most recently 6 miles.  It has been amazing to feel my body just DO IT and fall into line with what I ask of it.  I feel like a totally new person, it is so indescribable. I just wish everyone could experience this kind of freedom.

 At my one year anniversary I had my one year checkup at the bariatric surgeon's office. I weighed in at 174.5 pounds, for a total loss of 105.5 pounds since I started this journey.  My BMI is still not in the normal range but the dietician said to not worry about it since I have muscle.  Okay, that's all nice to say but I will not stop until I am at a normal weight, no matter what calculation is done to determine it. I'm just 5.5 pounds away from that goal - 168 pounds is the top of the normal BMI range for my height. I will get there, no problem :) My Vitamin D levels are low as are my B-12, which is odd cuz I take those every day, but we're going to double up for a few months and see if it works to get them up where they belong.  Nothing dangerously low, but they want to keep all levels healthy of course.  My good cholesterol levels are stellar, she said she can tell how much I exercise based on that.  So I'm glad to be as healthy as I am now. YAY!

Bob Harper's book, The Skinny Rules: The Simple, Nonnegotiable Principles for Getting to Thin, has totally been a huge key for me this summer.  It simply lists 20 rules to live by. I can not live by all 20 rules yet, but I've implemented a few and they have been super helpful.   The most beneficial thus far is simply to keep protein and healthy snacks in the front of the refrigerator.  I keep myself totally stocked with Greek yogurt, hard boiled eggs, apples and berries.  It has made it so much easier to avoid junk food - when I am feeling bored and wanting to eat, I just eat something healthy out of my fridge.  Among the list of other great rules are - no carbs after lunch (hard to do but I do remind myself of this when I'm contemplating mindless snacking) no potatoes, no fast food (I gave up fast food 1/1/12 so that one isn't hard), always eat breakfast, do not skip meals, and eat an apple or berries every single day.  The harder ones to follow I will start implementing next I guess.  I highly recommend this book - super easy to read, lots of recipes and really common sense based.

I ran my first 10k today. I had a time of 1:15:02.  I wanted to run it under 1:15 but I guess I got close enough. I would have finished faster but it was EXTREMELY hilly! OMG, it was a challenge but it was also really fun. It was in Estherville, Iowa, the town where my Grandma lives as well as my aunt and uncles.  It was so so so so so fun to run in the town that is so dear to my heart and see parts of it I have not seen ever before.  I trained and prepared well so I felt strong, energetic and not sore, which was so great. And the weather was amazing - 66 and cloudy.  A little humid but still so great to run in such cool temperatures.  Then it poured but cleared up just in time for the parade in town :)  My goal is to run the half marathon there next year. We shall see!

All in all, it's been quite a journey. I am so much healthier and feel amazing and I feel like the changes I've made to my diet and exercise habits will stick and I will be able to continue to maintain and improve my health.  Running in the races I have have been keeping me motivated so I intend to keep doing more and more so I keep getting stronger and increase my endurance.  It's so fun to be ABLE to run for an hour and 15 minutes.  I am flirting with the idea of running a full marathon at some point. Just to DO it.  Probably not the Twin Cities marathon though, it's too hilly :)  So I don't know. We will see how I feel when I do the half marathon and go from there.  It's totally addicting, this running thing. There is no feeling as sweet as crossing a finish line.  My new favorite quote is, "we don't quit when we're tired; we quit when we're done."  Kept me going today on a ginormous 1/4 mile STEEP hill.  

So I guess that's it for now.  I probably won't update this much anymore since I am almost at goal weight and just maintaining my lifestyle.  Check my main blog "www.thelifeofcranny.blogspot.com.

400 sticks of butter...melted

100 pounds are off of my body for good! YAY!  That's 400 sticks of butter.  Gross.  I thought I'd cry or hoop and holler when I saw 180.0 show up on my scale but I didn't. I felt rather numb. Super happy, super excited, it was so great.  I told all my best peeps.  And then moved on with the day. Since then I have gone back up a pound due to a combination of exulting in my victory by eating bad food and retaining water.  But oh wellz, it'll come off in a day or two if I amp up my water again.  Now I have to figure out what I want my goal weight to be. My next goal of course is the next 5 pound mark, so 175, and then 169, which is the weight I need to be to fit into the "normal" weight category on the BMI scale.  So for sure 169 is my goal.  And then maybe another 9 pounds to hit an even 160? I don't know.  I feel thin until I look at my health magazines and see people who are actually thin and I realize I easily have another 20-30 pounds on my frame that could go, but it will for sure take a good long while to get rid of it - these last pounds have been here the longest and are the most stubborn. Plus, the body likes to keep a cushion. But I'm going to keep running and sticking to my protein-rich diet and avoiding the junky food during the week and only indulging on weekends (which is my most successful plan usually).  I'll get there eventually.  My surgiversary is in just 6 weeks. I'd ultimately like to be 169 by then but we will see if that happens. I'd be happy at 175 on that date.  Heck, I'm just happy now :) I'm in a size 10 and that is soooo crazy to me.  I went and tried on size 10 jeans at the store and I could fit into all but the skinny jeans. Super exciting. 

I'm running an 8k race on Sunday. I have no idea what the heck got into me.  I have never run 5 miles at one pop before. But I'm going to on Sunday I guess! I felt the desire to push myself and run further than I ever have before so why not? If I have to walk a little in the middle then I will. But my strategy is to just take it easy and jog and try to not walk or stop at all and finish in a little over an hour.  We'll see! If it's hot, it will be a lot harder but it's supposed to be a cool morning.  I'm super excited and plan to do a bit of a training run tomorrow night, see if I can do 4 miles and how tired I get.  Then I'll know how to pace myself.  I'm so excited!! I wanna run the whole thing, I wanna do it, I wanna cross the finish line knowing I just did something I have never done before and I am a ROCK STAR :)  So we will see!  I love that I can even try.  I love that I get a lower life insurance rate now too.  I love that I am not the fattest person in the room everywhere anymore.  I love that my resting heart rate is 58.  I love that my thighs are hard as rocks (except for the excess skin, ew ew ew ew) and my calves are super strong.  Yay weight loss :) And I'm excited I still get to LIVE and have mini donuts on Sunday after my race. Yummmm.

I just started running...and running...

I'm not Forrest Gump yet...but, I ran my first 5k on Saturday and I'm pretty pleased.  I had been running 5k on the treadmill for a couple of weeks but was worried how that would translate to running outside and in a pack of people.  It was cold in the morning, like 45 degrees, and I was freaking out about how cold it was. I just layered up -wore my sleeveless running shirt, a long sleeve running shirt and a running jacket plus my sweat band over my ears and gloves to keep my fingers warm.

That's me in the red jacket at the starting lineup, just starting to jog.

 I was able to start shedding layers after about a mile and I ended up being quite comfortable, even sweaty, in just my running shirt after 2 miles.  It was a really fun run, Kat told me before I started to 'run my own race' and that was key advice. I had started to want to pass some people and I started to get winded early so I settled back in to my own pace and just ran where I could sustain my pace. It was a good plan. The last 1/2 mile I really poured it on and I was so excited to see I finished under 40 minutes - my goal was to finish under 45 minutes!! My official time was 37:24.  I finished 83rd overall (161 racers), 52nd of the women (113 women) and 19th of my 19-34 age group (35 in my group).  So that's about the middle, which makes me happy, I really just wanted to not be very last! :)

 

Such a positive experience.  I now want to start training to run a 10k.  And work on getting my 5k finishing time up there, I'd love to be able to get it under 30 minutes at some point.  Must work harder!  

Pact

I have found myself becoming so complacent on my food choices, just indulging in the little sweet things here and there at the office and salty snacks when I'm stressed. These will always be my struggle, no matter what, it's old habits that creep up on me slowly til before I know it, I'm eating horribly unhealthily and wracked with guilt and self-loathing, just like before I lost weight. So I'm back to hurting myself, both physically and emotionally. So I need to make a decision to stop doing these things. I have another 20 pounds to lose and a lot more fat covering these muscles than I need. I won't reach my goals by making such poor choices. So I am going to make a pact with myself. Here goes. Ahem...

I promise to honor my body's nutritional needs by feeding it healthy proteins, veggies, fruits and grains. I promise to keep sweets and junk food out of my mouth. I promise to eat when my body is craving good food and not for entertainment, emotional soothing or stress relief. I will do these things to the best of my ability. I will set myself up for successful choices by keeping healthy options with me and keeping unhealthy options out of my reach. Signed..ME. :)

5k!

I ran 5k on Monday on my treadmill, without stopping (except once to gulp some Gatorade -I'm not so good at drinking mid-stride) and I felt super strong and could have gone longer had I really wanted to push it. Super amazing feeling of accomplishment. The Couch to 5K program has really worked well and it's so awesome to finally be at the point where I can just settle in and run. Now I need to work on my speed and run faster as it really is a pretty lame jogging pace when I run. But that's all right, gotta walk before you can jog, gotta jog before you can truly run :) I run in the Challenge Obesity 5k on April 21st and then the Get in Gear 5k on April 28th. I'm ready, and I'm so excited!

I weighed in at 185.2 this morning, so just shy of the 95 pound mark. I'm working hard to get to the 100 pound mark, trying to really avoid the junky food, pack in the protein, drink a ton and work out diligently. It is going to be one sweet milestone, that is for sure! I hope to reach it in the next 4-6 weeks, we will see. My losses seem to be unpredictable and sporadic no matter what I do so it's just a waiting game to see when it happens. And then I will have to assess how much further I need to go. It's all surreal but I am enjoying the fruits of my labors - buying size 10's and 12's when I go shopping, not being self-conscious about fat rolls around my middle, no heat rash on my thighs when it's hot, no aching feet when I've worn heels all day, the ability to work out hard and feel strong, being able to cross my legs like a lady (I really couldn't do that before), not having to shop only at Lane Bryant, touching my toes, having a waist and about 100 other things I can't think of at the moment. It's so sweet :)

I do battle with my body image though more now than before. It's odd but true. The extra skin really bothers me, it is getting worse now that I've got so little fat left to burn off. I could stand to have it removed just about everywhere and I constantly weigh the idea of surgery to take care of some of it. It's kind of a problem though akin to getting new curtains. The new curtains make the furniture look shabby. Then replacing the furniture makes the carpet look bad. So you end up needing to re-do the whole room. That's my problem. Even with intense workouts, which HAVE helped, I still have a lot of saggy, hanging, wrinkly, ugly skin that just won't be tightening up or going anywhere. It's my reminder of what was. And it bothers me and I loathe feeling it and seeing it. I really am more negative about my body now than when I was 94.8 pounds heavier, heck, even when I was 194.8 pounds heavier way back when. I don't really know why. I definitely look better but I am more critical. Perhaps it's because I'm so close yet will never look as good as I could look because of the skin. It's something I have come to terms with and work every day to just accept and deal with. I don't know that I'll ever have the money to have surgery or the guts to go through with such painful procedures so I'm going to have to just learn how to deal with it and be happy with where I am. I shall try :)