So I had my 3-month checkup at the bariatric clinic. According to their scales, I was 220 exactly, which is 60 pounds from my highest 2011 weight. YAY :) According to MY scale this morning, I'm at 218.8. I like that number better. I didn't hit the 60 pound mark by my 3-month anniversary, missed it by 5 days, but oh well, I'm still happy with my progress. The next milestones of course the 5's - 65, 70, the big 75, but my favorite, is the 80.1 pounds lost mark - that will mean I will weigh under 200 pounds for the first time since I was 13. I hope to hit that before 2011 is gone, so I have my work cut out for me! I have 9 1/2 weeks to lose 18.9 pounds. I can do it! Better get back to exercising.
I was doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and did 8 days of it but then I was busy on the weekend and then I got sick with a migraine that didn't quit til today so I was NOT gonna exercise. So now that I'm feeling better I have no excuse, after a week off (a week goes so fast when you're NOT exercising) I need to start over completely I think. Sigghh...but..it's good for me. I can really tell a difference in my muscles and strength just from doing it for 8 days so if i can actually stick to it for 30, I think it will be amazing results.
I still struggle with managing my stress/emotions outside of food. Life has been very stressful the past few weeks adjusting to having Steven full-time and all the homework and challenges he is facing in 7th grade and my first thought is to drown my stress in Cape Cod salt and vinegar potato chips. I have done it, I confess. But the emotional stress of knowing i did it is worse than the feeling of stress before I did it! So I have learned my lesson. The chips went in the garbage and I bought a new supply of protein shakes. My Dr yesterday said "Muscles and protein a girl's best friend. Muscles allow you to burn more calories and have a higher metabolism and protein keeps you full and not hungry. The result is a lean physique." I have to remember this when I am tempted to reach for the wrong thing. It's always going to be a struggle, I am going to have to always fight the urge to eat food for the wrong reason. I thought it was gone, but as my choices get wider again, the old demons rear their ugly heads. I think I am going to find a counselor to talk to about this this winter when I have a little more time to devote to it. Can't hurt.
So at the doc they were very happy with my progress and how it's going and how I've healed. In the next 3 months I can expect to increase my portions from 1/4 cup to 1/3 or 1/2 cup. That's hard to imagine as I can still barely eat a bite more than 1/4 cup, but the swelling is gone down in my stomach and it will start to relax more and be less stressed, allowing more capacity. I have to start a calcium and Vitamin D supplement now and I'll continue B-12 and a multivitamin as well and that is all the vitamins I will need but I'll be on all of them for the rest of my life, which I am totally cool with, should be taking them anyway. They showed me the pictures they took of me on the first day I visited the clinic back in February and compared them to the pictures they took yesterday. Wow. I had no clue I carried so much weight in my face/neck area, I looked so swollen! It was fun to see for sure. :)
This past weekend we did a photo shoot. The kids, the dog, my sis, and Kat and I. It was so fun to do it and not be paranoid about how I looked and if my double chin was hidden and were my fat rolls showing. So so great!!
So onward - back to working out, continue working on fighting off the emotional/stress eating temptations and enjoy the journey! I am SO GLAD I DID THIS. Why didn't I do it SOONER? That's my only regret. That I hated my body and was trapped in self-loathing misery for SO LONG. I feel like I'm escaping more and more every day from the prison of fat and everything that goes along with it. I have loathed my body and as a result, a part of myself, since I was very young, probably about 9. Just digusted with myself and feeling like a gross loser. And that is gone. If I never lost another pound, I'd be happy with where I am, I feel amazing and healthy and so alive. But luckily I get to lose another pound and another and another :) YAY! :) Love my sleeve!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Some adjustments
First of all, I haven't been on here for a while so a weight update! I weighed in at 224.6 this morning! That's 55.4 pounds off my body, woo hoo!! (222 sticks of butter)I am working towards the goal of 60 pounds gone by the 18th, which is my 3-month anniversary of my surgery. That's 4.6 pounds to lose in the next 2 weeks which is totally doable if I stay on track.
Speaking of staying on track, I haven't been. I got back into a "food is fun" mindset in the past couple of weeks and while I've still been losing a little bit, I've been upset with myself for the foods that have been finding their way in my mouth. Things like candies/sweets and chips/carbs have been uber appealing lately and I have found myself adding up the calories each day and being ashamed of myself. I went through a very serious operation to change my health and I for some reason think that I can now eat junk food? I finally decided I needed to re-train myself from "food is fun" back in to the correct mindset of "food is energy and that's it, hunny!" So, first I pinky-swore with my co-worker, who is also trying to lose weight, that we would not let any sugar pass through our lips for this whole week. This is hard due to the large bowl of Halloween candy in the center of the Accounting office but there is POWER in the pinky swear! Then, I bought a bunch of protein shakes and have returned to a liquid diet part of the day. Protein shake for breakfast, protein shake for lunch, healthy protein and vegetable supper. It makes my mind stop thinking about food all day, takes the choices away (I got to be morbidly obese cuz I am very bad at making good food choices) and gets me back on track with my protein intake and portions. I also decided to jump the working out into full gear for a full week and pulled out my "Power 90" DVD set. It has a strength training DVD and a cardio DVD and you are supposed to alternate them 6 days a week for 90 days to transform your body. So, I figured I'd do it this week, all 6 days, before bed. So far Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I've hit it and it has felt GREAT. I break a killer sweat, get my heart rate cranked up and exhaust my muscles. (by the way I pronounce that "muskels" cuz it's funner) So I feel way better about myself this week, no more negative talk in my head and guilt for eating poorly, and I'm dropping pounds quicker and I can feel a difference in the firmness of my arms, legs and middle. So putting in the work really pays off. I do 20 reps of 10 different ab exercises every night too and I'm thinking of doing that absolutely every day going forward cuz it's something that only takes 10 minutes, you need no equipment and can be done anywhere really. I should really do it morning AND night if I want to get abs of steel, lol! Perhaps it will help with the loose skin issue that I am dreading. We shall see!
So all in all, I'm still learning along the way and trying to adjust when needed and put in the work. When I eat randomly and don't work out the weight doesn't really move much anymore. They stress that weight loss surgery is a tool and after a while, success will depend on me using this tool effectively. I've reached that point where it is definitely my job to do the work to get the pounds off. I'm ready for more sticks of butter to be GONE :)
Speaking of staying on track, I haven't been. I got back into a "food is fun" mindset in the past couple of weeks and while I've still been losing a little bit, I've been upset with myself for the foods that have been finding their way in my mouth. Things like candies/sweets and chips/carbs have been uber appealing lately and I have found myself adding up the calories each day and being ashamed of myself. I went through a very serious operation to change my health and I for some reason think that I can now eat junk food? I finally decided I needed to re-train myself from "food is fun" back in to the correct mindset of "food is energy and that's it, hunny!" So, first I pinky-swore with my co-worker, who is also trying to lose weight, that we would not let any sugar pass through our lips for this whole week. This is hard due to the large bowl of Halloween candy in the center of the Accounting office but there is POWER in the pinky swear! Then, I bought a bunch of protein shakes and have returned to a liquid diet part of the day. Protein shake for breakfast, protein shake for lunch, healthy protein and vegetable supper. It makes my mind stop thinking about food all day, takes the choices away (I got to be morbidly obese cuz I am very bad at making good food choices) and gets me back on track with my protein intake and portions. I also decided to jump the working out into full gear for a full week and pulled out my "Power 90" DVD set. It has a strength training DVD and a cardio DVD and you are supposed to alternate them 6 days a week for 90 days to transform your body. So, I figured I'd do it this week, all 6 days, before bed. So far Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I've hit it and it has felt GREAT. I break a killer sweat, get my heart rate cranked up and exhaust my muscles. (by the way I pronounce that "muskels" cuz it's funner) So I feel way better about myself this week, no more negative talk in my head and guilt for eating poorly, and I'm dropping pounds quicker and I can feel a difference in the firmness of my arms, legs and middle. So putting in the work really pays off. I do 20 reps of 10 different ab exercises every night too and I'm thinking of doing that absolutely every day going forward cuz it's something that only takes 10 minutes, you need no equipment and can be done anywhere really. I should really do it morning AND night if I want to get abs of steel, lol! Perhaps it will help with the loose skin issue that I am dreading. We shall see!
So all in all, I'm still learning along the way and trying to adjust when needed and put in the work. When I eat randomly and don't work out the weight doesn't really move much anymore. They stress that weight loss surgery is a tool and after a while, success will depend on me using this tool effectively. I've reached that point where it is definitely my job to do the work to get the pounds off. I'm ready for more sticks of butter to be GONE :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)