Wanna SEE???

http://www.weightlosssurgerycost.com/bariatric/vertical-sleeve-gastrectomy.htm

That link is to watch a video of a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I watched it and it is SOOO cool. Had no idea that's how they actually did it and it's nuts how much stomach they take OUT!! CRAZY!!! But cool. No wonder 4 bites of food does me in!

A meal in the life

Lunch: Baked chicken thigh and a little salad.




And....Full.

204 Sticks of Butter

That's a lotta butta!!! And it's off my body for good!! 51 pounds GONE :) I weighed in at exactly 229 this morning, 51 pounds lighter! It feels amazing and I'm so excited!! Well, I WAS excited. Then I read People.com's story about Kirstie Alley's 100 pound weight loss. She topped out at NEARLY 230 pounds, that fat cow, then realized how disgusting she was and so she dropped 100 pounds so she could stand the sight of herself..... Seriously. Ugh. Nothing like making my current weight feel like a failure instead of a victory!! I'm stoked to be 230ish pounds. And I won't be losing another 100 pounds. Stupid Kirstie Alley. I'll be happy with another 50-70, depending on what it all looks like in the end. I don't need to be a size 6. I don't know, whatever. Anyway. I'm happy to have crossed the 50 pound mark and now it's onward to 60!! I hope to hit that milestone in another month, so before Halloween. We shall see!! :) This is SO FUN!

Almost a milestone

It's my 2 month anniversary of surgery, or, my surgiversary tomorrow :) I wanted to hit 50 pounds lost by this date but unfortunately, I am only down 49.6 pounds as of today and I have no scale to weigh in the morning as I'm at my sister's house tonight. Anyway.... SOOOO close. I weighed in this morning at 230.4. I'm still thrilled with my weight loss, just irked I didn't get to my goal. OH wellz. My goal of being below 200 at the end of the year is getting more attainable as time goes on, just 30.4 pounds to lose in 15 weeks. That's 2 pounds a week which is totally doable. I need to keep working out, that's the biggest key, and the only way to ensure I'm not burning muscle but maintaining them. Onward :)

I bought some clothes today at the thrift store, large and x-large sweaters and jackets and a coat. It was SO fun to not buy plus-sizes. Finding pants has been harder, I still carry a lot of weight down there and I have never had great luck with pants anyway and now it's difficult because I'm right between plus sizes and regular misses sizes in pants. I tried on 10 pairs today and just gave up without buying any. Bah! I have no jeans that fit so I'll try again tomorrow I guess.

Eating isnt' fun anymore. I get full SO fast and all the anticipation of eating something yummy just dissipates when I am full after a couple bites. So I'm really learning to just not get too interested in my next meal and so my food addiction is firmly in check these days. Pointless. So, yay! The problem with this is that I also don't care to eat good stuff either. I need to push the protein and still eat when I don't feel like it. Today I worked out with my trainer really hard and got home and was sick to my stomach. This is a tell-tale sign that my body is burning protein for fuel and since I hadn't eaten much in the past 24 hours, I knew my body was chewing off my muscles. So I ate some bacon and felt right as rain quickly. Bacon is so yum. I can't eat much but boy do I love it!! :) It's not the healthiest protein but once in a while it's okay. So ya, still learning and figuring all this stuff out as I go. I love my sleeve, SO SO SO SO glad I did it and I wish that more people would do this. It truly has changed my life, my relationship with food, and my whole outlook on life. BEST. DECISION. EVER. I wish I had done it years ago, but I'm glad I did it now and didn't wait any more. I'm so happy :)

Another milestone :)

I'm down 45 pounds! :) YAY!! Weighed in at exactly 235 this morning. I guess all the Fair food and carbs I slipped into didn't do me any harm, either that or the last couple days of being really good and working out helped. Idk. But YAY! :)

A good adjustment

The last week has been a lot of unhealthy eating opportunities - the Fair 4 times, barbecues and just lots of opportunities for being a bad, bad girl. I haven't done very well with the temptations, I have indulged in carbs and too many fattening things. As a result, not much of a drop in the scale this week, although I don't really know that for a fact but I feel like I haven't, I'll check in the morning. And it was my dear, sweet, hunny who put me back on track. He very lovingly reminded me why I started down this road and that no one would be disappointed in me but ME if I got off track and stayed there. I needed to hear that. So, it's back to the disciplined rigors of high protein foods, protein supplements and keeping carbs out of sight. I was thankful for the reminder. Just cuz I CAN have certain foods again, i.e. they won't hurt my new tummy, doesn't mean that I am supposed to have them or that they are good for me. So today I started off with a protein shake, had a yummy lunch of half a chicken thigh that Kat made for me, and a supper of 3 0z of lean meat and cheese, which was actually too much, I am uncomfortably full. No veggies or fruit, which I should have had a few bites of, but I didn't have any on hand. Tomorrow there will be applesauce and carrots in my purse so I can hopefully have a perfect day. And I will be working out tonight before bed, sweating to some mega-cardio fun. So I'm back on track and with new resolve and purpose restored. It's so easy to get off track and just slip into old mind frames and habits. Thankfully I've got a great support system that loves me and wants me to succeed. Onward!

You can do it too

I have to vent. I am really tired of this conversation:

"Wow Kristen, you look great, how much weight have you lost?"
"Thanks, 40 pounds"
"OMG in just 2 months??"
"Yup"
"I am so jealous. I wish I could lose weight."

ARRGGHHHHHHHGHGHGHGH....

Why does this bother me? Because losing weight is nothing to be jealous of. It is hard. It sucks. I ate nothing for 6 weeks except protein shakes and soup in preparation for the surgery and during healing afterwards. I didn't lose this easily, it was hard. VERY hard. Even with weight loss surgery, it is denying yourself what you want, killing horrible habits EVERY DAY, and working out like a fiend. Yes, the surgery helps, I CAN'T eat a huge pile of anything. But I could eat chips and greasy crap and brownies every meal and between meals and not lose a pound. But I don't. I can't have coffee. COFFEE. For a YEAR. I can't have SODA EVER AGAIN. Seriously. Are you jealous of THAT???? I'm working my butt off physically and working really hard mentally to make good choices and do what I'm supposed to do to get the results I want. I get that some people don't know any of that. I get it. Most people think of weight loss surgery as a magic cure for fat and it melts off without any effort or thought. And it's not true. I could gain back every pound I've lost if I stopped the diet I am on and didn't work out anymore. I wish I could wear a sign. But I won't. End rant.

On a nicer note, I do wish that more people would consider weight loss surgery. It is SO hard to lose weight and this surgery is a really powerful tool to help. I wish I'd done it years ago. It has been really hard to mentally let go of food as my comfort, my friend, my pasttime, my boredom-buster and I'm going to struggle with that probably forever. And I miss coffee so so so much. And Diet Pepsi. But it's so worth it. Wow. So worth it. I carried a 35 pound bag of dog food to the car last night. It was heavy. I'm glad I don't carry that with me everywhere every day all the time any more.